Desentization

I am beginning to think that I might have been becoming a little desensitized not too long ago….

When bad things were happening in the world -one event after the other-  I noticed I didn’t feel a direct emotion  or immediate sympathy towards the situation.

I felt nothing.

Nonchalantly I would wonder, “Oh Yeah,  was that another bombing that just happen yesterday?” or yeah, “Did they just kill another one of our brothers?”

Something wasn’t right and that wasn’t  me.

I am so built to love.

Not that cold-hearted BS my mind had created as normal……..

I’m glad I got back right.

Rebuilding my Temple 

So I’ve been complaining recently a lot about my back. It has been killing me. So, I went and got a massage yesterday and it made it hurt worst lol 

Luckily, I am not going to give up just yet. I signed up for a monthly plan so When I go back next month I am going to tell the massage guy what I liked and what I didn’t. See if we can figure it out together. I have faith. Until then- workout workout workout. 
So this morning in my Ignite Your Passion for God reading I have going on- it talked about King Josiah (2 chronicles) and how when he was 8 years old he was given power after 57 years of evil with his father and grandfather. 

The first thing Josiah did (at the age of 8) when he came into power was seek after God and destroy all false idols. Then when he was 18 he further seeked after God and restored the church.  Along his restoration inside the church he find the holy bible. No one had seen it in 57 years. 

When he found the Bible,  he tore off all his clothes and asked God for forgiveness and started making changes to law. 

Josiah was on beast mode.

What the passage told me was: In order to see the changes I want to see in my life for a better life, I need to first rid myself of all my “false idols” (sex, food, toxic relationships, cars, lifestyle etc.) and start with a clean plate. 

Seek after God and restore my relationship with him. Once I have that in place I can begin changing my personal “life laws”. 

I will keep you updated on my progress! 

I Said I Wouldn’t Do Long Distance Love Again….

So, when I was younger, from like 14-18, I was in love with this guy named Jaylen. He was my first love as well as my first “long-distance love”.

Our relationship was a little super crazy.

So, when it finally ended I made a declaration that I would never ever ever ever do that again. Told my friends, told my family, and told God. I was serious.

Fast forward present day, and Look a Here.

I’m in a Long-Distance Relationship.

It’s funny because I’ve always heard you should never say what you “won’t do again”. Because you never know what you “will do again”. Lord, if that is not true.

When I was with Jaylen I had a hard time with trust, I had a hard time with loyalty, and I had a hard time being by myself.

This time Something Was Different….

Well first-of-all, I cannot not mention how much I am totally head over heels in love with this man I am with today. So that helps.

But I know the supreme reason and the ultimate factor for why I was able to do it again and why I gave Long Distance Love another try is simply:

“I learned from my past relationship and I grew as a woman.”

Those two things I did not take into consideration when I made my declaration of never doing this again.

I no longer have issues with being by myself, because I took the time to really and thoroughly enjoy and get to know myself. (Insteaddddd of looking for this comfort in someone else) I now pay attention to my body, began working out, got back in school, and joined a church. Keeping busy and Staying productive. (Look at God)

I no longer have trust issues because I simply now know what trust is. ——-If I don’t trust the person I am with, then why am I with them? Simple as that.

And I no longer have loyalty issues because I began to focus on being the person I wanted to have in my life. How could I have so many expectations for what I wanted in a partner but I didn’t showcase it myself? Naw, I had to get right.

So here I am. Saying I am in a Long Distance relationship and I love it. I love God, I love me and I love him.

Yep.