Desentization

I am beginning to think that I might have been becoming a little desensitized not too long ago….

When bad things were happening in the world -one event after the other-  I noticed I didn’t feel a direct emotion  or immediate sympathy towards the situation.

I felt nothing.

Nonchalantly I would wonder, “Oh Yeah,  was that another bombing that just happen yesterday?” or yeah, “Did they just kill another one of our brothers?”

Something wasn’t right and that wasn’t  me.

I am so built to love.

Not that cold-hearted BS my mind had created as normal……..

I’m glad I got back right.

I Said I Wouldn’t Do Long Distance Love Again….

So, when I was younger, from like 14-18, I was in love with this guy named Jaylen. He was my first love as well as my first “long-distance love”.

Our relationship was a little super crazy.

So, when it finally ended I made a declaration that I would never ever ever ever do that again. Told my friends, told my family, and told God. I was serious.

Fast forward present day, and Look a Here.

I’m in a Long-Distance Relationship.

It’s funny because I’ve always heard you should never say what you “won’t do again”. Because you never know what you “will do again”. Lord, if that is not true.

When I was with Jaylen I had a hard time with trust, I had a hard time with loyalty, and I had a hard time being by myself.

This time Something Was Different….

Well first-of-all, I cannot not mention how much I am totally head over heels in love with this man I am with today. So that helps.

But I know the supreme reason and the ultimate factor for why I was able to do it again and why I gave Long Distance Love another try is simply:

“I learned from my past relationship and I grew as a woman.”

Those two things I did not take into consideration when I made my declaration of never doing this again.

I no longer have issues with being by myself, because I took the time to really and thoroughly enjoy and get to know myself. (Insteaddddd of looking for this comfort in someone else) I now pay attention to my body, began working out, got back in school, and joined a church. Keeping busy and Staying productive. (Look at God)

I no longer have trust issues because I simply now know what trust is. ——-If I don’t trust the person I am with, then why am I with them? Simple as that.

And I no longer have loyalty issues because I began to focus on being the person I wanted to have in my life. How could I have so many expectations for what I wanted in a partner but I didn’t showcase it myself? Naw, I had to get right.

So here I am. Saying I am in a Long Distance relationship and I love it. I love God, I love me and I love him.

Yep. 

Joy Lane could have been Karen Smith…..

I remember being on social media and seeing horrible things being said about Joy Lane the week the whole “Facebook Killer” story came out.

joy lane
Joy Lane and Steve Stephens

She was the girlfriend of Steve Stephens who went and killed innocent grandfather Robert Godwin for no reason. He then went on Facebook and blamed it on Joy.

Joy Lane’s Story

That man was troubled to say the least.

But what was even more troubling was the comments and hashtags that were being created about Joy – as if this whole situation was HER fault and as if she had any control over what that man was going to do.

I couldn’t believe it.

Then a couple weeks later (or was it before) there was the story about Karen Smith whose life was taken by her husband Cedric Anderson at her place of employment where a 9yr old student’s life was also taken.

Karen Smith’s Story

Was this Karen’s fault?

karen elaine smith
Karen Smith and estranged husband Cedric Anderson

Its easier to say no right? But when you look back at Joy Lane’s story and what happened to her, how and why is there even a question whether that situation was by anyway her fault? 

Joy could have easily been Karen. 

Last week I sat down and I just thought about how it must feel to be Joy Lane.

She had the courage to step away from a bad situation which could have easily led to her own demise and then have to go through the trauma of a murder being blamed solely on her by her own aggressor. That has to be heavy. 

We will never know how she feels deep down inside and how much weight Robert Godwin’s death had to weigh on her personally. So why did we pass judgement?

What I know, is that there is only one JUDGE and both Robert and Stephen are about to meet him.

Point. Blank. Period.

I pray for all families. 

 

Xavier Omar- The Everlasting Wave

OMG where was I when this came out?

‘Blind Man’ was a single that I knew of actually. But I had never listened to Xavier’s full album. I did today and it was the bomb. The bomb diggity to be exact.

I fell in love.

xavier-omar-press-2017

His voice is so fresh and swaggy.  Not to mention he is putting the respect of women as a topic in his tracks and you gotta love that!  His Sound is also so diverse. Its not the typical R&B sound we hear all the time. He is definitely tight. (P.S. I love men that can really sing and have memorable voices and Xavier Omar is one of them!

Here’s what I thought about the songs!! 

Special Eyes- So cool. So neat. So sweet. It feels so good. Hmm…..

Grown Woman- I feel like I am in a dream. Somewhere with bright lights. Swaying. Dancing with the man of my dreams. While he sings this to me….Then we kiss at the end.

If This Is Love- This song feels so deep to me. Idk. Like “your man putting you in your place”  feel good.

Do Not Disturb- More of the turn up song on the album.

Poision- Amen for this song!

90s Babies are the Best Babies

Yeah I said it!

“If you were not born in the 90’s, then you missed being born in the best years.”

48 Reasons why 90’s Babies Had The Best Childhoods

We are blessed.

I say this because we got to experience both parts of the “World” as we know it today.

This includes: The world before technology took over, and the world we know today controlled by technology.

The world before technology was the days kids played outside. The days where you really had to “communicate” with people in order to build relationships. The days with encyclopedias. The days the library use to be popping (or was it just me). The good ole days.

bubble beeper
Bet yall dont remember this? 

The world after technology is super savvy and super neat. The days where your nieces and nephews know more about an iPad then you do. The days where cars drive themselves. The days of online dating. A sneak peak of the future….and I must admit it is bright.

Us 90’s babies got best of both worlds.

We are well balanced and Equally yoked. 

We can appreciate somethings because we actually grew up without everything.

Since we also grew up in the technology age we also know how important and just how darn cool it is to be connected and the spectacular things technology can do.

But we are Balanced. And that is what matters.

pen

Shoulder Roll……