Am I Selfish?

……………….So I have a story.

I was over one of my best-est friend’s house for her birthday not too long ago and she had some scrumptious a** looking shrimp and grits for dinner. Now if you know me you  KNOW that I LOVE me some seafood.  I will darn near eat you out of a house and home for your seafood. No lie.

Just facts.

Anyways, by the time I got to her house everyone there had already eaten and were telling me how good the shrimp and grits were.

So I asked my friend if I could get me a plate and when she replied yes I proceeded to tear it completely and efficiently up. Waxed it.

And just like everyone had said,  It was soooooooo freaking good!

shrimp-grits-
Not the Exact One But Looks Just Like It lol

I looked back at the pan and it was not much left so I asked my friend if I could kill the rest and make my stomach oh’ so happy. She politely told me no and replied back that she wanted to save some for later.

And this is where it got sad lol

Yall wont believe……………………………….I got mad!!!

Oh all the things to get or feel- I got mad! ON HER BIRTHDAY!!  (Smh.)

That’s not even when I asked myself the “Am I Selfish” question.

So, Directly after all of this had happened I was on the phone with another friend and told her about the situation and also told her how I had reacted -(only told her because my conscious had began to start bothering me and I had to get it off my chest)

To MY SURPRISE my friend was NOT surprised by the way I had reacted at one little  bit. I was a little put off by that lol

When I asked her why she was not surprised she said very calmly but completely stern “You have always been selfish Brittany.”

I was baffled.

Me? Selfish?

Couldnt be…….

I really couldn’t believe that someone saw me as selfish! Astonished.

Me? The person who would give you her last chicken wing and tennis shoes off her feet?

Selfish?

Couldnt be……..

…………But Then I thought about it…..

And Meditated a little…….

And then thought about it some more.

………………………………………….And after a while, I was like WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWW

(#Flavor Flav Voice) lol

Bruh…………… Smh. I am selfish……..

Why did I always feel a little entitled?

How come I never donated?

How come I never volunteered?

Home come I never let my friends talk me  to death without putting some of my life in there somewhere?

I knew I didn’t have to always give money to not be selfish, …….but I could be selfish by not sharing myself with others.  Let someone else be first other than myself sometimes.

And once I admitted it to myself I then knew it was time to work on it.

Then a little birdy dropped a verse out of the sky…

James 2:14-17.

“ What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

Faith without action is dead.

I can think of myself as a giving and helpful person all day and night….. but unless I share my knowledge, time, and gifts that I have been blessed with those thoughts that I am thinking are just thoughts and that’s all they will ever be until I add action!

Lesson learned.